The Man Who Wore a Hat – Part 2

                If you ever have been immersed in a culture that is different from your own, you cannot but help to be a bit self-conscious. To communicate you resort to the primitive by pointing and drawing. It is best if you can seek out someone that knows your language so that you can communicate. Some places make that not so easy. In others being multilingual is commonplace. To order at a restaurant you have to resort by pointing or guessing. You may have to have ask directions by pointing to a map of the place you are trying to go. At least these are the things that I had to do. One learns as you go, and the longer you are immersed the easier it becomes.

                As I had mentioned in the first part of the blog, there once was a man with a hat that came to church. He looked out of place and he must have felt out of place as well. He was in a foreign land and certainly did not speak the language that everyone else was speaking. We forget about this in the church. We have forgotten about the people, specifically the men who do not know the language of the church. We are the ones that need to interpret Christianity and use a “man friendly” terminology.

                Our church language or terminology in the evangelical church sets itself apart from the rest of western society. What we think is common place is actually foreign to most men. For instance the evangelical church puts a heavy priority on having a relationship with God. Many go the extreme that we are to have an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. While all of this is true in most respects, I believe that it is hard for most men to grasp. We are to be growing in Christ closer and closer every day. But the emotions of most men are simply not wired that way.

                Recently I was discussing this with a friend of mine. He was sharing of how we learn many of our traits from our fathers. Both of our fathers were similar in that they did not openly show their love to the male children in the family. Love was expressed in the loyalty of provision of home and sustenance. There were no coddling or touchy-feely moments in my family. There were just men teaching boys to be men that were strong and able to deal with the problems of the world.

                There are words and concepts that simply do not translate the same as even 50 years ago. Common church terms such as: “being born again”, “What Would Jesus Do?”, “I’m Praying for You”, and “Praise the Lord” mean very little unless they are really acted upon. Speaking in terms of having an intimate relationship with Jesus not only sounds foreign but also may be uncomfortable with many men. As a man I may have several close friends, however there is only one person that I am intimate with, and that is my wife. The later relationship I do not discuss and do not consider it to be anyone’s business. That is the way for most men as we age and mature.

                As I seek to find a better way for men to understand what it means to follow Christ, I think the word that describes the relationship best is “loyalty”. We want a leader. We want someone who will lead us to victory. We want a savior that will help us in the everyday battle. In a world that has been plagued by the consumer mentality, loyalty is what has been missing. Loyalty means that we will put our lives on the line. Loyalty means that we will follow to the ends of the earth. Loyalty establishes a bond and commitment that will not be broken. I believe loyalty is the kind of relationship a man can understand.

What do you think? Loyalty or intimacy? Let me know in the comments what you think. These are only my opinions, but I am curious to hear yours.

The Man Who Wore a Hat

                Not long ago I went to visit a friend’s church. It was a great service, full of loving and welcoming people. The music was good, the Word was preached and I left being challenged and yet affirmed. I could not help but notice however a man setting on the other side of the aisle. It was the man with the baseball hat on. He stuck out like a sore thumb. Not because he wanted to, but it was rather that he did not belong nor did he want to be there.

                He sat next to his wife or significant other. She was getting into and enjoying the service. She had her Bible with her and was following along. She was raising her hands and giving praise to God. All the while, the man stood, sat, and did his best to try to look interested. He tried to look interested, and yet it was all he could do to keep his eyes open. It wasn't because he was tired, but rather because the language of Church was completely foreign to him.

                Unfortunately this man in the hat was not the only one. Across the country every week there are men that are feeling the same way. These are men who do not understand the language of church. These are men that see church as a place that is completely foreign to them. We have taken Christianity and made it so hard for men to understand that is almost is the point of being repulsive. Let me expand upon this further in three more blogs. I want to looks at three aspects of the church that make men uncomfortable. Those three aspects are the church’s music, the Christian’s terminology and the environment of the local church.

                As you read, please share with me your experience and how we can hopefully make church more welcoming to men.

A Year Ago Today

                 Today I decided that I am going to celebrate. It was not an easy decision to make. It is an event that not many people would associate with celebration. However, I am going to change that. You see, last March 21^st was the day that a great man passed away from this earth into eternity.

                All of it is so vivid in my mind. We all we gathered around my father; my Sister, her husband, my mother, my wife, and myself were all there. Earlier in the day there had been calls from my other two sisters, and a visit from my brother. But it was during the cold peaceful night that we were stoking the fire of the stove that we waited. Stoking the fire and watching the breaths become shallower and slower was all that was left to do. The memories still flash. The mourning, the ghastly anticipation all molded together with a feeling of helplessness grasped my heart. And yet, there was still peace, the kind of peace that passes all understanding. It was a heavenly peace that comes from God alone, followed by an un-climatic climax when my father took his last breath.

                For some of you there is no reason to celebrate. You did not know my father. You did not know the man. That is ok. But someday you may be in my position to make the same decision. I choose to celebrate because God blessed us to be family, to be father and son. I celebrate because of the memories of love and selflessness that he gave. I am thankful for the earthly time, but my hope truly is in eternity. Know today that you have a Heavenly Father that loves you and wants you to be with Him today. This may have happened a year ago today, but it is today that I live for and celebrate.

Be a blessing and be blessed!

Eating the Church du Jour!

......I wrote this a while back but found it still very true.

            Not long ago, I opened up the latest copy of a popular pastor’s magazine. I used to enjoy reading about the latest books and some of the latest trends. However, something hit me really hard as I caroused through the pages. Where do these guys come up with this stuff? There is the post-modern church, the emerging church, the emergent church, the satellite church, and so many others I am not able to keep up with all. Are these things really for me? Just because they worked for one guy how am I to know that they will work for me. Why even should I try them? They tell me why… “because it will change and improve Your ministry.” WOW! That is quite the claim. Why should I even waste my time reading these same words that have been written over and over again. I am not a mega church wanna be. I am not a mega church pastor. I do not desire to build a mega church. I just want to love my Jesus and serve the Lord. Yes, I do have a desire to preach the gospel. Yes, I want to reach out and share Christ. Yes, I want to make disciples and help grow the church. But, does it have to be broadcast to a satellite church? Do I have to use Power Point just to communicate? Do I have to entertain the people and appease their senses? Help us please Jesus! What have we come to?

            Truly I am tired of the Church du Jour philosophy. I am starting to wonder about it’s validity and even it’s long term viability. There is so much hype but very little in terms of outcome. There is little in terms of content. The Church du Jour, catering to the tickling ear only leads to an empty heart. I agree that there are many who are seeking. There are many who are looking for Christian community. Yet there seems to be something lost in what is gained.

            Along with the Church du Jour is the latest and interesting fact that for every single success in ministry that person as well has to write a brag book outlining their achievements and giving advice on how the rest of us jokers can do the same. Little does any of them tell us is that out of every success there are hundreds and possibly thousands of failures. Not that any attempt in ministry is a failure but rather that not all will be blessed in the same way. Every ministry leader and pastor is unique and thus every ministry and church will be unique. As well there are certain geographic and sociological differences in every church community. There is not one possible way that a church in an urban big city will have the same flavor as a church in rural middle America. Why is it then we think there is a “fix all” for the church.

            Often I wonder if there is more than survival in ministry? I realize that all we can do is to do our best and let God do the rest. The Church du Jour model is not the answer for the Kingdom of God. What is the answer then? I think that we are pulling the blankets over our heads while the real ministry still needs to be done. Possibly we would be better using our time in prayer, Bible study and worship than on the latest books, magazines and info from the Church du Jour.

Chasing Rainbows and Leprechauns

                As I am writing this I am surrounded in the fact that it St. Patrick’s Day. The TV news has mentioned it, the radio has mentioned it, and even the popular search engine has a wonderful green header. The greatest part of the legend of St Patrick it that he had chased all of the snakes out of Ireland. From my understanding there had never been snakes in Ireland which makes it a more intriguing story. More important however is that he had brought Christianity to Ireland. The other picture we often associate with St. Patrick's day is that of the leprechaun and his infamous pot o' gold. How many of us as children have tried to find the end of the rainbow to get that gold?

                As I contemplate on this, I could not help but think of all the time I have wasted chasing snakes or pots of gold that were not there. How much time has been wasted by worrying, and seeking solutions to spiritual warfare that were solidly in God’s hands? Jesus was so clear that in our lives giving our time to the worry of the material desires of the gentiles or even to religiosity of the religious leaders was a waste. His words speak to us today. ”³³ But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Matthew 6:33 (ESV)

                I wanted to share with you as well the popular prayer attributed to St. Patrick.

St. Patrick's Breastplate
I arise today through
God's strength to pilot me,
God's might to uphold me, 
God's wisdom to guide me,
God's eye to see before me,
God's ear to hear me,
God's word to speak for me,
God's hand to guard me,
God's way to lie before me, 
God's shield to protect me,
God's host to secure me-
against snares of devils,
against temptation and vices,
against inclinations of nature,
against everyone who shall wish me ill, afar and near, alone and in a crowd...
Christ be with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,
Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left, Christ where I lie, Christ where I sit, Christ where I arise, Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of every man who speaks of me,
Christ in the every eye that sees me, Christ in every ear that hears me.
Salvation is of the Lord
Salvation is of the Lord
Salvation is of the Christ.
May your salvation O Lord be ever with us.         

                Seek Christ first and don’t get too distracted chasing rainbows or leprechauns. Happy St. Patrick's Day!

What is an Agnaphos Inkling?

What is an Agnaphos Inkling?
   I knew that this will come up soon or later so here is my response. Wikipedia gives a good understanding of the Inklings and their background. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inklings However it omits the Christian aspect of their meetings. Both Tolkien and CS Lewis were two of the great theological minds of the time. They still inspire those who read their books
   The word agnaphos is the greek word that means unmilled, unfulled, undressed, unprocessed,or new. Thus this is the New Inklings. May it be a bridge of theological thought with the occasional other musings. Please enjoy and share.

The 7 Hard Lessons I've Learned in Ministry

            I have had some hard lessons in ministry. After nineteen years there has been something new almost every day. Most pastors have experienced these lessons. Each of them requires strength to endure, and then grace to move past them. But it still amazes me as to the hurt and stress that they bring years after they occurred. I am not sure that most of these lessons could have been avoided. However I am sure that all can learn from my mistakes. Certainly it would have best if all of my mistakes would have been made in the beginning years of my ministry. It never fails to amaze me that there is always some hard new lesson to learn. I have listed these lessons not in any sort of order of importance, but rather chronologically as I learned them.

Lesson One:

                My story is that of starting out as a young preacher with no experience, Bible College, or seminary training. Actually, I grew up in an unchurched family. (My call is certainly another story.) I decided to write my first sermon on Philemon because it was the shortest book. Silly logic, but I did not know better starting from scratch. That morning I could have preached the sermon 4 times, added commercials and still would have had time left over in half hour. Truth was I knew nothing. Later that year I was asked to lead a Bible study with a group of senior. It was certainly uncomfortable at first but they were welcoming and supportive. It was then that I realized my first hard lesson. There will always be someone that knows more than me. At first it intimidated me, but soon enough I grew to welcome the fact that the Saints in the church would always have more experience than me. It was better to go to them and ask for help than it was to remain intimidated and afraid that everything I said was already known. Lesson learned: There will always be people that will know more than you. Use them!

Lesson Two:

                Sometimes once is not enough. Sometimes you have to learn the same lesson twice. Early in my ministry I became the associate under my mentor Senior Pastor. He was a blessing and knew what to do in all circumstances. And yet this was a lesson that I know he learned even after a full lifetime of ministry. He had started at the church only months before I came. It was the first Sunday that I noticed that at the top of the bulletin that the senior pastor was not the only pastor listed. There was another, he was listed as the Pastor Emeritus. Come to find out that the person considered to be the pastor emeritus was the previous pastor that had retired from the church and still lived in the community. Even after his retirement, people from the church continued to call him, vent to him and he continued to visit the congregants in their homes. This was detrimental to the senior pastor’s ministry in which he never really recovered until he finally retired and moved away. Certainly this did not need to be the case, but the situation was already present. There were multiple ethical boundaries crossed and the senior pastor was not allowed to be the pastor he was called to be. Such lack of ethics does not always happen, but when it does it can be tragic. Lesson learned: Beware the pastor emeritus. Or at least be careful and know the dangers.

Lesson Three:

                Oh to be young and stupid. Unfortunately I cannot use that excuse anymore. With youth often comes zeal that is somewhat unbridled. This was my case. At the time, I was with a mainline denomination and decided to speak out and support my local congregation with one of the hot issues that was being challenged. I thought I was right because of my Biblical stance and support by most members of the local congregation. Yet it was not to be. When the news got to the higher levels of the denomination, the correction came down and I became expendable. What I did was not wrong, but being young and new, meant I had a lesson to learn. I was outside the views of the denominational leaders. They did not want someone challenging their status quo. My lesson learned was: Know who’s feathers you might be ruffling.

Lesson Four:

                Years later after I had finished seminary, switched denominations and was called again to fulltime ministry, I thought that things were going well in the church. Many things were good and relations were good in the community. My wife and I became very active in community events as well as deciding to become foster parents. It was a wonderful ministry, and we were able to adopt three of our five children. We connected with social workers, other foster parents, and some of the children’s parents as well. We shared our love and our faith with them. It was a wonderful opportunity. However, here is where the lesson came in. While my wife and I had a heart for the ministry of connecting with the people who are involved in the foster program, people in the church did not feel the same way. They did not see the value that we did, nor did they see our interaction with our foster parent acquaintances. I believe it is important to do community minded activities of which we may have a personal passion for. The lesson learned is that somehow the congregation needs to see your ministry outside of the church. It is just as important as what goes on inside the walls. Do not be boastful, but help the church see the bigger picture of the Kingdom of God.

Lesson Five:

                I am a big man, but the shadows of those who have gone before us are bigger. It is not easy to live in those shadows. It is not easy to daily be reminded of the Historic Saints that could do no wrong and were so well loved. When I first experienced this I was amazed that a particular Saint from the 1950’s was still a popular figure in the community. He has pastured the church for fifteen years and then went on to pastor another church in another part of the state for over fifty years, complete with a radio and television ministry. There was no way that an ordinary pastor could live up to that kind celebrity. I finally realized that there was no use in trying. I needed to blaze my own trail and make my own memories, thus being the pastor that I could be, not who someone else was. My lesson learned was that there will always be comparisons, just make sure you live your own ministry outside of the historic shadow.

Lesson Six:

                Things are not always what they seem. We all have seen optical illusions that deceive the eyes and make the picture to look like something it is not. Parallel lines can look crooked, and colors can appear that are not there are some the great examples of how we can perceive these illusions. In the church it takes on a bit different appearance. Sometimes for the pastor that is good and other times not. Sometimes the perception of what people think they see is stronger that the truth. I have seen this happen time and time again. The one day that you step away from the office for something, becomes the day that the pastor is never available. The sermon that you had a hard time with and did not come out the way you planned becomes a problem that the pastor is never prepared for Sunday. The time that a senior is in the hospital and no one tells you, becomes that pastor never makes hospital calls. I am sure that you could add your experience. The lesson that remains is that perception is often stronger than the truth. Make sure that you keep track the best you can to reflect the real truth.

Lesson Seven:

                The last lesson I want to share is one that also has reared its ugly head more than once. Often this presents its self early in a ministry, however the longer that it takes to show, the harder the lesson learned. That lesson is to watch out for the unspoken expectations. These unspoken expectations could be somewhat simple and yet lead to a congregation that does not feel its needs are being met. My favorite example of this is when we had moved to a new church. We had moved there in the summertime and were doing our best to pick up on the local culture. Just two days before Thanksgiving, one of the church leaders came to me and asked what time the Thanksgiving Eve Service was at? At first, I was stumped and had to ask what was a Thanksgiving Eve Service? Never had I heard of such a thing, it certainly was not part of my culture or experience. Next, I realized that we had plans with the family that was only a daytrip away. I was both dazed and confused. Yes, we were able to put a service together quickly and the next year knew to plan ahead. Often the unspoken expectations are the little things like how many times you are to visit shut-ins or the nursing home, how many hours you are to spend in the office, or even how long you are supposed to preach. They may be petty things but are always of importance to someone. Certainly it is important to seek out what are the unspoken expectations are for you and then learn that lesson early.

                These are just a few lessons that I have learned in ministry. There are so many others. The key for me is that I continue to learn. What about you, what are the lessons you have you learned?

----------------- Anthony has pastured rural and small town churches since 1995. He is the husband of Heidi and father of two biological and three adopted children. Anthony received his MDiv from Sioux Falls Seminary and has served on various regional and association committees. In his spare time he loves to fish and play guitar but not at the same time.