I
have had some hard lessons in ministry. After nineteen years there has been
something new almost every day. Most pastors have experienced these lessons.
Each of them requires strength to endure, and then grace to move past them. But
it still amazes me as to the hurt and stress that they bring years after they
occurred. I am not sure that most of these lessons could have been avoided. However
I am sure that all can learn from my mistakes. Certainly it would have best if
all of my mistakes would have been made in the beginning years of my ministry. It
never fails to amaze me that there is always some hard new lesson to learn. I
have listed these lessons not in any sort of order of importance, but rather
chronologically as I learned them.
Lesson One:
My
story is that of starting out as a young preacher with no experience, Bible College,
or seminary training. Actually, I grew up in an unchurched family. (My call is
certainly another story.) I decided to write my first sermon on Philemon
because it was the shortest book. Silly logic, but I did not know better
starting from scratch. That morning I could have preached the sermon 4 times,
added commercials and still would have had time left over in half hour. Truth
was I knew nothing. Later that year I was asked to lead a Bible study with a
group of senior. It was certainly uncomfortable at first but they were
welcoming and supportive. It was then that I realized my first hard lesson. There
will always be someone that knows more than me. At first it intimidated me, but
soon enough I grew to welcome the fact that the Saints in the church would
always have more experience than me. It was better to go to them and ask for
help than it was to remain intimidated and afraid that everything I said was
already known. Lesson learned: There will always be people that will know more
than you. Use them!
Lesson Two:
Sometimes
once is not enough. Sometimes you have to learn the same lesson twice. Early in
my ministry I became the associate under my mentor Senior Pastor. He was a
blessing and knew what to do in all circumstances. And yet this was a lesson
that I know he learned even after a full lifetime of ministry. He had started
at the church only months before I came. It was the first Sunday that I noticed
that at the top of the bulletin that the senior pastor was not the only pastor
listed. There was another, he was listed as the Pastor Emeritus. Come to find
out that the person considered to be the pastor emeritus was the previous
pastor that had retired from the church and still lived in the community. Even
after his retirement, people from the church continued to call him, vent to him
and he continued to visit the congregants in their homes. This was detrimental
to the senior pastor’s ministry in which he never really recovered until he
finally retired and moved away. Certainly this did not need to be the case, but
the situation was already present. There were multiple ethical boundaries
crossed and the senior pastor was not allowed to be the pastor he was called to
be. Such lack of ethics does not always happen, but when it does it can be
tragic. Lesson learned: Beware the pastor emeritus. Or at least be careful and
know the dangers.
Lesson Three:
Oh
to be young and stupid. Unfortunately I cannot use that excuse anymore. With
youth often comes zeal that is somewhat unbridled. This was my case. At the
time, I was with a mainline denomination and decided to speak out and support
my local congregation with one of the hot issues that was being challenged. I
thought I was right because of my Biblical stance and support by most members
of the local congregation. Yet it was not to be. When the news got to the
higher levels of the denomination, the correction came down and I became
expendable. What I did was not wrong, but being young and new, meant I had a
lesson to learn. I was outside the views of the denominational leaders. They
did not want someone challenging their status quo. My lesson learned was: Know who’s
feathers you might be ruffling.
Lesson Four:
Years
later after I had finished seminary, switched denominations and was called
again to fulltime ministry, I thought that things were going well in the
church. Many things were good and relations were good in the community. My wife
and I became very active in community events as well as deciding to become
foster parents. It was a wonderful ministry, and we were able to adopt three of
our five children. We connected with social workers, other foster parents, and
some of the children’s parents as well. We shared our love and our faith with
them. It was a wonderful opportunity. However, here is where the lesson came in.
While my wife and I had a heart for the ministry of connecting with the people
who are involved in the foster program, people in the church did not feel the
same way. They did not see the value that we did, nor did they see our
interaction with our foster parent acquaintances. I believe it is important to
do community minded activities of which we may have a personal passion for. The
lesson learned is that somehow the congregation needs to see your ministry
outside of the church. It is just as important as what goes on inside the
walls. Do not be boastful, but help the church see the bigger picture of the
Kingdom of God.
Lesson Five:
I am
a big man, but the shadows of those who have gone before us are bigger. It is
not easy to live in those shadows. It is not easy to daily be reminded of the
Historic Saints that could do no wrong and were so well loved. When I first
experienced this I was amazed that a particular Saint from the 1950’s was still
a popular figure in the community. He has pastured the church for fifteen years
and then went on to pastor another church in another part of the state for over
fifty years, complete with a radio and television ministry. There was no way
that an ordinary pastor could live up to that kind celebrity. I finally
realized that there was no use in trying. I needed to blaze my own trail and
make my own memories, thus being the pastor that I could be, not who someone
else was. My lesson learned was that there will always be comparisons, just
make sure you live your own ministry outside of the historic shadow.
Lesson Six:
Things
are not always what they seem. We all have seen optical illusions that deceive
the eyes and make the picture to look like something it is not. Parallel lines
can look crooked, and colors can appear that are not there are some the great
examples of how we can perceive these illusions. In the church it takes on a
bit different appearance. Sometimes for the pastor that is good and other times
not. Sometimes the perception of what people think they see is stronger that
the truth. I have seen this happen time and time again. The one day that you
step away from the office for something, becomes the day that the pastor is
never available. The sermon that you had a hard time with and did not come out
the way you planned becomes a problem that the pastor is never prepared for
Sunday. The time that a senior is in the hospital and no one tells you, becomes
that pastor never makes hospital calls. I am sure that you could add your
experience. The lesson that remains is that perception is often stronger than
the truth. Make sure that you keep track the best you can to reflect the real
truth.
Lesson Seven:
The
last lesson I want to share is one that also has reared its ugly head more than
once. Often this presents its self early in a ministry, however the longer that
it takes to show, the harder the lesson learned. That lesson is to watch out
for the unspoken expectations. These unspoken expectations could be somewhat
simple and yet lead to a congregation that does not feel its needs are being
met. My favorite example of this is when we had moved to a new church. We had
moved there in the summertime and were doing our best to pick up on the local
culture. Just two days before Thanksgiving, one of the church leaders came to
me and asked what time the Thanksgiving Eve Service was at? At first, I was
stumped and had to ask what was a Thanksgiving Eve Service? Never had I heard
of such a thing, it certainly was not part of my culture or experience. Next, I
realized that we had plans with the family that was only a daytrip away. I was
both dazed and confused. Yes, we were able to put a service together quickly
and the next year knew to plan ahead. Often the unspoken expectations are the
little things like how many times you are to visit shut-ins or the nursing
home, how many hours you are to spend in the office, or even how long you are
supposed to preach. They may be petty things but are always of importance to
someone. Certainly it is important to seek out what are the unspoken
expectations are for you and then learn that lesson early.
These
are just a few lessons that I have learned in ministry. There are so many
others. The key for me is that I continue to learn. What about you, what are
the lessons you have you learned?
----------------- Anthony has pastured rural and small
town churches since 1995. He is the husband of Heidi and father of two
biological and three adopted children. Anthony received his MDiv from Sioux
Falls Seminary and has served on various regional and association committees.
In his spare time he loves to fish and play guitar but not at the same time.
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