If you
ever have been immersed in a culture that is different from your own, you cannot
but help to be a bit self-conscious. To communicate you resort to the primitive
by pointing and drawing. It is best if you can seek out someone that knows your
language so that you can communicate. Some places make that not so easy. In
others being multilingual is commonplace. To order at a restaurant you have to
resort by pointing or guessing. You may have to have ask directions by pointing
to a map of the place you are trying to go. At least these are the things that
I had to do. One learns as you go, and the longer you are immersed the easier
it becomes.
As I
had mentioned in the first part of the blog, there once was a man with a hat
that came to church. He looked out of place and he must have felt out of place
as well. He was in a foreign land and certainly did not speak the language that
everyone else was speaking. We forget about this in the church. We have
forgotten about the people, specifically the men who do not know the language
of the church. We are the ones that need to interpret Christianity and use a “man
friendly” terminology.
Our church
language or terminology in the evangelical church sets itself apart from the
rest of western society. What we think is common place is actually foreign to
most men. For instance the evangelical church puts a heavy priority on having a
relationship with God. Many go the extreme that we are to have an intimate
relationship with Jesus Christ. While all of this is true in most respects, I believe
that it is hard for most men to grasp. We are to be growing in Christ closer
and closer every day. But the emotions of most men are simply not wired that
way.
Recently
I was discussing this with a friend of mine. He was sharing of how we learn many
of our traits from our fathers. Both of our fathers were similar in that they
did not openly show their love to the male children in the family. Love was
expressed in the loyalty of provision of home and sustenance. There were no
coddling or touchy-feely moments in my family. There were just men teaching
boys to be men that were strong and able to deal with the problems of the
world.
There
are words and concepts that simply do not translate the same as even 50 years ago.
Common church terms such as: “being born again”, “What Would Jesus Do?”, “I’m
Praying for You”, and “Praise the Lord” mean very little unless they are really
acted upon. Speaking in terms of having an intimate relationship with Jesus not
only sounds foreign but also may be uncomfortable with many men. As a man I may
have several close friends, however there is only one person that I am intimate
with, and that is my wife. The later relationship I do not discuss and do not
consider it to be anyone’s business. That is the way for most men as we age and
mature.
As I
seek to find a better way for men to understand what it means to follow Christ,
I think the word that describes the relationship best is “loyalty”. We want a
leader. We want someone who will lead us to victory. We want a savior that will
help us in the everyday battle. In a world that has been plagued by the
consumer mentality, loyalty is what has been missing. Loyalty means that we
will put our lives on the line. Loyalty means that we will follow to the ends
of the earth. Loyalty establishes a bond and commitment that will not be
broken. I believe loyalty is the kind of relationship a man can understand.
What do you think? Loyalty or intimacy? Let me know in
the comments what you think. These are only my opinions, but I am curious to hear yours.
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